If You're A Bird... I'm A Bird...

For most women, and even men out there, we don't even have to think twice when asked what movie is the culprit behind the phrase, "If you're a bird... I'm a bird..."  Because it was with the movie 'The Notebook,' that passion was reignited and not just women, but men could identify and agree on the fact that the love story between Allie and Noah was absolutely breathtaking.  'The Notebook' became the first movie that didn't sit with the masses as a "false reality" or merely a "chick flick."  In fact, it created a constant reminder that not only is true love worth fighting for, but that everyone deserves to fall into a deep and passionate love at some point in their lifetime.  Allie and Noah brought "true love" to life and made it something tangible and real for us all to witness.  For those of us already in love, it created an awareness and appreciation for what we had found, and for those of us, like myself, who continuously find themselves having their heartbroken, there is indefinite hope that with enough perseverance, strength, confidence, and most importantly, patience, our time will come too.  Personally speaking, I would rather be alone, than be with anyone except The One.  Because while I have no idea who he is, where he is, or even when I'll meet him, just knowing that he is out there, somewhere, makes me excited and able to pick myself up each and every time without fail.

They say you have to kiss a lot of toads before you can meet your prince charming.  While I feel as though I am beyond my limit, God surely must have a sense of humor about the whole thing because I am still waiting.  But I must say, from my first breakup until now, there maybe something to be said about dating toads before meeting The One.  Every let down has fueled within me more courage, more confidence, more stability, and more acceptance in myself at how amazing and wonderful I am just as I am.  Though I have heard the lamest most overused line a hundred times, "It's not you, it's me," it's actually quite true.  It's not me, and it will never be that it is me.  My mom constantly reminds me whenever I am faced with this line that it's not about whose fault it is or was, it's the fact that for whatever reason, it wasn't the right fit.  Someone can't be the one for you if any one part of the both of you together doesn't fit exactly right. 


People might think I am an impulsive shopper, but what I don't think they realize is that shopping is a lot like dating.  You browse and browse, maybe try a few things on, sometimes a lot on, but when you find the perfect dress, handbag, or shoes, let's be honest you just know.  With little to know rhyme or reason involved.  It just literally hits you and you just have to have it.  I am both positive and confident that is how it will be for me when I meet the one.  For those who haven't taken the time to get to know themselves inside and out, it is very easy to view my shopping habits and decisiveness when I see something I like as impulsion, but in reality it is anything but.  If I am not willing to skimp on a handbag or pair of shoes, why on earth would I skimp on my most important accessory?  Rest assured however, when I know, I will know... unfortunately I just don't know when that will be yet! :)

Any skeptics out there that think that the concepts of soul mates and passionate and everlasting love are found only in the movies, unfortunately lack the patience to stand tall and own themselves, and I fear those same individuals are not 100% happy with who they are exactly as they are.  For many, it's the fear of being forever lonely or thinking that you have already met the best thing that keeps you longing for the comfort of what you know.  But be realistic for a second; 99% of the dates you go on or the people you meet are not The One and that is simply because of the fact that there is only one.  So from a probabilistic standpoint alone, you have to be brave enough to have your heart broken.  You have to be willing to be vulnerable, to trust, to be confident, and realize that loneliness isn't the result of being alone, it's the result of something missing, which is completely independent of having someone.   All of these things need to be in check before it is even possible to appreciate The One and having that kind of love in your life.  To put it simply, and in the words of another film favorite, 'A Cinderella Story,' don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.  Trust me it will be worth it.  I know it, and I haven't even found him yet.

Even still, the word "love" alone is tough enough to define which causes us to forget at times that there are so many different kinds and ways to love someone.  For example, I love my brother and sister differently than I love my mom and dad, which is different than how I love my friends or even a boyfriend.  And I know that when I meet the one, that I will have learned of a whole new kind of way to love someone and that it will be obviously different from the way have ever loved any man previously.  We often get confused and played by the rush of emotions and feelings when something is new and exciting.  It's at these times that we find ourselves very quickly caught up in the rush of feelings and chemistry that we forget the fact that everlasting love is not born out of physical attraction.  The most important distinction regarding love is that it is not lust, but can easily be confused with lust.  True and everlasting love is something far more powerful and binding.  And quite honestly, with already limitations in language to define love, we rely heavily on the relativities of our relationships overtime to help gauge, and draw comparing and contrasting differences with those we have crossed paths with to date, only so we can continue to narrow down the population and move closer and closer to finding our life partner. 

 

Even still, it amazes me how every time us ladies have our hearts broken and we swear that this is the last time we put ourselves out there and that we will never let this happen to us again.  We do.  And  why do we do it?  Because every girl wants to find their Noah.  Every girl wants a man that will dance with them when there is no music playing, that will never stop believing in your love, and most importantly, who recognizes that if you're a bird... they're a bird.